


Serious Business

by Bookwrm389



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Humor, Toddler Elicia, kids do the darndest things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-06 08:23:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17936246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookwrm389/pseuds/Bookwrm389
Summary: After that of course, it was impossible to take anything seriously.





	Serious Business

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on FF.net

"Hey Mustang, you look like you could use a nap."

It was an effort of pure will for Mustang to stifle another yawn and give Ed a proper glare across his desk. "You might feel the same way if you spent the night with a squalling toddler in the next room," he grumbled. "Hughes is visiting from Central with Elysia, something about using up his vacation days and giving Gracia a weekend to herself. But that unfortunately came at the expense of ruining  _my_ weekend. I haven't had a date in three days, and now my apartment smells like a diaper room."

"Aw, cry me a river," Ed said drolly. He propped his feet up on the coffee table like he knew Mustang hated, smirking. "Say, why don't we cut this meeting short so you can get some shuteye? And if I had the afternoon free, Al and I could pay a visit to Hughes and Elysia. She's two now, right? Last time we saw her, she was only..."

"You're not getting out of this that easily, Fullmetal," Mustang warned him. He shuffled the papers in his hand, aching eyes squinting at the fine print of the budgeting report. "I believe Hughes is currently parading his daughter around in the mess hall. You can see them  _after_ we talk about the massive debt you've been racking up when you and your brother are out and about."

"What debt?" Ed said in affront. "I'll have you know I haven't spent a  _single_ dime that wasn't necessary for my research! Besides, the military is supposed to foot the bill for all my traveling."

"Not when you've been trekking across the entire country and leaving a path of destruction in your wake," Mustang informed him dryly. "This month alone we've had four towns contact headquarters claiming you either demolished a building or defaced a monument or—"

Ed winced and crossed his arms defensively. "Well, check your reports again! I bet I haven't even been  _near_  those towns. Unless...is this about the train wreck in Benri Springs? Because that was  _not_ my fault! They hijacked the train, what was I  _supposed_ to do?"

"Stopping the train without  _crashing_ it would have been a start. In any case, if you don't start showing some responsibility soon, I'll have to cut into your research budget again and restrict your travel to the East area."

"Oh, come on!" Ed whined, sitting up to slap his palm on the table. "You're taking this way too seriously!"

Mustang tossed the report aside, exhaling irritably. "That's what adults do, Ed. We take things seriously,  _especially_  money. You claim to be a mature soldier and alchemist, yet you piss away your finances like a kid in a candy store. I'm really starting to think little Elysia has more self-control than you do."

Ed might have retorted, and very vehemently. He certainly looked like he wanted to. But whatever he might have said or done to refute Mustang's statement would have paled in comparison to what happened next. Someone outside his office turned the doorknob and cracked the door open, slowly enough that Mustang knew it couldn't be one of his subordinates. He glanced up to see who was coming in and had a moment of bewilderment when he saw no one at first. Ed made some kind of odd choking noise, which drew his attention down. And his jaw dropped.

A curious and clearly lost Elysia stood in the doorway, both hands clinging to the knob above her head and apparently oblivious to the fact that she was stark naked. Unless of course one counted the diaper perched on her head, which gave her a vague resemblance to a miniature nun. The pinkness in her cheeks did not appear to be from embarrassment as she immediately beamed at them, rocking on the balls of her feet.

"Hi!"

" _Elysia!_ " Hughes cried from somewhere down the hallway. "Sweetie,  _please_ put your clothes back on! It's cute when you do it at home, but not in front of all these men! Your mother's going to make me sleep on the couch if she finds out about this!"

Elysia giggled madly and sprinted down the hallway, bare feet padding on the tiles. Judging from her father's despairing wail, she was in no mood to obey him this time. Mustang blinked and remembered to breathe, snapping his head around when Ed started snickering uncontrollably.

"Y-Y-Your f-face," Ed gasped. He gave up and howled in laughter, arms wrapped around his ribs. "Oh God, your  _face!_ "

Still taken aback by this turn of events, Mustang couldn't help a small, wry smile. "What, Ed? I think I'm entitled to be a little surprised. It's not every day a young lady comes strolling into my office as bare as the day she was born."

" _Someone stop her!_ " Hughes bellowed. "She's heading for the conference room! There's a meeting going on, all the higher-ups are in there!  _General Grumman_ is in there!"

In an instant, Ed bolted off the couch and out the door. Mustang half rose in protest. "Fullmetal—!"

"Sorry, Colonel! This I gotta see!"

Mustang hesitated, torn between the reports that he had yet to explain to his own superiors and the hilarity of seeing a happy toddler go streaking into the middle of one of those stuffy meetings he hated so much. In retrospect, it was a losing battle, and he scattered those papers every which way in his haste to catch up with Ed.

After that of course, it was impossible to take anything seriously.


End file.
